Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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