dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
