Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
