My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
