gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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