He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My penis needs a shock collar
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
