I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
