SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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