Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
