Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
