well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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