This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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