You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
