yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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