my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
