explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
