He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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