Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
