My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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