jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude i'm inner monologue high
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
