Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
