dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
