Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
