I accidentally burped into my bong.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
