This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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