i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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