I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
