For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
