So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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