I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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