He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
