worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
