so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
