At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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