Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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