sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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