Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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