What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
