Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
