His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drake has all the answers
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
