This girl is more easily done than said...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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