There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
