Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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