New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
