I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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