i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
