she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
