you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
