would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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