The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
