just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
